Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I really don’t know why, but for some reason, I lack a lot of confidence.  Whenever I’m walking to work, I always worry about walking to work and being in work.

When I start walking on my own and walk past people or get to traffic lights, I panic and sweat.  I get all nervous and I really don’t know why.  However, if I’m walking around with my boyfriend or a friend, I’m fine. Why is this?

I also get all stressed, worried, and work myself up about things.  Dunno if that has anything to do with my lack of confidence

Sincerely,

Lucy

---

Dear Lucy,

We thank you for sharing your story here with Coming Through The Rye.  When I read your letter, I could wholeheartedly relate and currently am dealing with similar hurdles on a day to day basis.

I do believe we have a lack of confidence in ourselves and a relentless worry of what we may imagine what other individuals think of us.  I often think that others think negatively of me, of my personality, my actions, anything.

Life presents us with endless moments where we feel uncomfortable in situations or when with unfamiliar individuals.  That will not change.  What we can change is ourselves along with our perception, without sacrificing our personality.

We can build our confidence by maintaining and strengthening our relationships with other individuals, such as family members, friends, a beau.  This social support helps strengthen ourselves and they can help us see ourselves in a positive light. In difficult times, this support can aid us through.

Overall, the most important idea is to work on yourself and believe that you are wonderful in your special way.  Each individual inherently possess unique qualities and has something wonderful to offer to others.  Perhaps, at work, we are great team players, who turn a challenging day into a great day.

I think when we are walking on our own, wherever we are, we can try to positively remind ourselves who we are and imagine the positive support we have from the people we care about and from the people we positively helped.  And then, give others a simple smile of confidence that might make another person’s day.

Catching those before they fall and helping those who have fallen back up,
Phoebe