Insecurities from Within

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

Okay, so I’m going to tell you guys my story but I don’t know where to begin.  I’m 15 and I’m really insecure, I don’t know why, might be from the past.  Since a while ago I haven’t been comfortable anymore at school, in classrooms and hallways. I feel sad everyday, I cry at least twice a week.  Here’s why… Whenever I’m at school I feel like people are judging me, laughing at me, watching me.  I know this is not true, but I can’t shake the feeling.  So whenever I think people are laughing at me or whatever, I break.  I get sad and can’t even do my homework.  I have this problem EVERYDAY.

I’ve already asked my friends, “Why are they laughing at me?”  They tell me people aren’t laughing at me and it’s all in my head, because there’s nothing wrong with me.  They tell me I’m beautiful.  I make new friends too, so that makes me a little less insecure.  Why would people wanna be my friend if I were ugly or weird?  But everyday there’s this one person who ruins it all.  They might not even know they ruin my day, because they might not be laughing at me.

I’ll give an example.  Today, I was leaving school with a bunch of my friends and two guys were entering. For a split second, I made eye contact with one of these guys.  One second or two seconds later, the guy shouted something while he was passing me.  I hadn’t heard what he had said so I asked my friend, “What did he say?”  She told me she didn’t know but thought it was suspicious that he shouted just as we were entering.

I’ve got problems just with lunch too.  Whenever someone nearby laughs, I assume it’s about me, even if someone glances in my direction, but is just looking behind me or whatever.  I KNOW it’s not about me most of the times, but I just can’t stop the feeling.

I just wanted to know what you guys think.  My friends say I’m a little paranoid and should seek help.  I don’t want to live like this anymore, I can’t.

Thanks,

Doriana

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Why does he keep in contact after he broke up with me?

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

So two weeks ago, things ended. He told me he still loves me, but he just can’t be in a relationship when he knows he isn’t being the best boyfriend he knows he can be. I found out later that he slept with someone else while he was on a three-week holiday, and that he is on many dating sites and chats to girls he met there and girls he has met elsewhere.

A week after we broke up he said he misses me and he can’t stop thinking about me. He has contacted me every second day since. He told me he still loves me. However, I also found out today that he sends snapchats to girls, and they send him naked ones.

Why does he keep in contact after he ended things and is playing many other girls? It’s disgusting. When I ask why he says he wants to be friends and isn’t talking to anyone else or doing other things. However, I know 100% he is.

I’m obviously never going back there and I have made it very clear to him yet he still contacts me. As a guy or girl who has been in this situation or heard or has any advice, why would he continue to lie and do what he knows is wrong as he told me it was and he regretted it. Yet, he hasn’t stopped it.

Sincerely,

Chella

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Lack so much confidence… Why?

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I really don’t know why, but for some reason, I lack a lot of confidence.  Whenever I’m walking to work, I always worry about walking to work and being in work.

When I start walking on my own and walk past people or get to traffic lights, I panic and sweat.  I get all nervous and I really don’t know why.  However, if I’m walking around with my boyfriend or a friend, I’m fine. Why is this?

I also get all stressed, worried, and work myself up about things.  Dunno if that has anything to do with my lack of confidence :/

Sincerely,

Lucy

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My girlfriend said she needs space…

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

Ok here’s the info. I’ve been with my girlfriend for over 2 months now and everything worked out great we had some fights but we sorted it all out. Today we met and she said she didn’t want to go to this place with me to copy some stuff cause she wants to go home and I was like all right sure and I just left. I was little angry at that time but it slowly faded away. When I came home she messaged me asking me if I was angry I said kinda but not as much as you think. We started talking and she said we should take a break or something. I said that it eventually’s gonna turn into a breakup we started talking about some stuff again and she said I don’t know, I care about you and everything I’m not for a relationship anymore, I don’t know. And I asked her if she wants to take a break or break up she said I don’t know. And after a while she said she wants to be alone and not near anyone and that no one should ask about her and that she’s feeling depressed. She said to wait a couple of days to pass so she can think about everything. I felt like this couple of weeks ago too but it passed I’m not sure if it will pass her. I don’t know what to feel I mean she changed my life after I met her she is perfect we have everything in common and I just don’t want to lose her I don’t want to breakup cause of some stupid ****, I’m scared of losing her. Do you think that we are gonna break up or..? And can you give me some advice or something to do I just feel like **** after all of this

Sincerely,

Viktor

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I think I might be lesbian?

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I’m 16 years old, who would rather stay home and play games on the computer or watch TV.  And, as long as I can remember, I always fell in love with a boy, but always unlucky in love.  I’m very shy and very quiet around boys I like (or almost every cute boy).  But, around my guy friends and girl friends, I’m sometimes goofy and when I’m in bad mood I’m quiet.

But I’ve noticed that lately, drifting somewhere in my mind, sometimes I find myself looking at cute girls passing by me on the street.  I don’t know if it is jealousy because I am not skinny.  I was chubby and my “friends” in elementary school kidded me about that.  Then I had health problems (my hormones started going crazy) at age of 12 and gained more weight (90 kg).  But I struggled and lost some of that weight (now 82 kg).  (Some people still pick on me because of that, but I gained some confidence and found new friends.)  I don’t wear heels, nor put a ton of makeup, nor dress up like I’m going to the parade every day.

But sometimes I start thinking about how my life would have been if I was lesbian, and get lost in my mind…  Sorry if I bored you with my life story (story in parentheses), but I felt like I needed to write it.  And sorry if misspelled something…  And is it normal to be confused about your sexuality at this age?

Sincerely,

Marija

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