Bad parenting with good intentions?

October 11, 2013 By in Published Letters Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

Hello there. I am seeking help. I am a 14 year old teenager, and something quite catastrophic happened recently. Basically, I organized a timetable for my work, and my parents insisted that now is the time for them to check my work and give their opinion before GCSE (General Certificate of Secondary Education). I completely rebelled by arguing that they cannot enforce rules upon me when they know I am always on top of my work all the time and working hard. Furthermore, I feel violated when I hand the work in as if it is somebody else’s work. Hence, it is not a true representation of my ability. My dad says that if I do not accept the advice he will look for a state school for me to go to. Currently, I am fortunate enough to be in a private school. This topic really hurts me. Any and all advice is appreciated.

Sincerely,

Stephen

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Too young to have kids?

October 6, 2013 By in Published Letters Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year… well not physically together since he lives and work in another country and gets to come home every few months. He’s a great guy – the most amazing, down-to-earth, family-oriented, and hardworking guy I’ve ever known. And he loves me like nobody else does. He would drop everything and jump on a flight to get to me if I asked him to. We plan to get engaged for Christmas. The problem is that he wants to start a family really soon. He really wants to have a kid, and I feel like I’m too young being only 21 years old. We can definitely afford a kid, and our families on both sides are eager to become grandparents. However, somehow I don’t think I’m ready. I’m very career-oriented, and I have a great social life. Also, I feel like I’m too young. Being pregnant and having a kid is just gonna cut my freedom. However, I don’t know how to explain that to him without him thinking that I’m only thinking about myself. Is that what I’m doing or am I really too young? Please give your advice.

P.S. I’m a model and a really beautiful one at that. Guys are always after me. I feel that might also be a reason for him wanting me to have a kid so soon. I might also be wrong to think so.

Sincerely,

Heidi

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Do I give my boyfriend a break or try to fix things?

September 15, 2013 By in Published Letters Tags: , , Leave a comment

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

Lately my boyfriend and I have been going through some issues.  We’ve both been stressed and been arguing quite a bit over small things.  We’ve been together for almost three years now, and I truly think he is the one.  We see each other everyday, and I spend the night at his house almost every night.  Lately, he has seems really distant.  I confronted him about it, and he said he just isn’t as happy as he used to be because we fight so much.  He wonders if he would be happier single.  He says he wants to be able to sleep alone and do things independently without worrying if I would be upset.  Hearing this absolutely killed me.  However, he also said he still loves me and he does want to be with me.  He just doesn’t know how and if we can fix things.  I’m so confused now.  He decided he wanted to stay with me and to try to work things out.

One part of me desperately wants to try to spice up the relationship and remind him of why we are together and how in love we are.  However, the other part of me wants to give him space and let him be alone to miss me and realize he wants to stay together.  Although, I am terrified he may decide he likes being alone, and he won’t come back to me.  I really want to stay together, and I have no idea which approach to use.  Should I spice things up and remind him of why we are in love, or should I give him space?

Sincerely,

Jessica

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What is up with my crush?

September 9, 2013 By in Published Letters Tags: , , , Leave a comment

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I have been friends with this guy since 8th grade we are now juniors in HS. Last year I told him I had developed feelings for him when he has liked me in 9th grade but I didn’t feel the same way about him then until sophomore year. He started to show signs of liking me again in about January and I told him in October. We were on a field trip mid may right before school was out and he did something I didn’t approve of involving alcohol and we didn’t talk all summer. School started and we talked and both have gotten over it and have kind of started talking again. We were both at a party the other night and all he did was stare at me from across the room. I walked up to him and sat with him for a good portion of the night and his attention was only on me, and when I left he walked up to me and asked me why I had left and where I had gone. Well we haven’t really talked much since then except for the fact he came up to me and told me I had no “a*s” -_- when I was with one of my friends who came up to me and smacked me on the butt and that’s when he shouted that and people are always calling us love birds and ask us if we’re dating. He’s never had a girlfriend, and when we went out kind of on a double I can probably count the words he said on one hand, but when I’m with him and he has friends to fall back on he’s fine.

What’s up with him? Every time I look at him he doesn’t look away, and just treats me so much more different than anyone else. He’s usually very outgoing except when he’s around me and I was the first one to ask him out and he was extremely nervous the whole time. And he gets incredibly jealous when he sees me with/around other guys. And he has been starting this thing lately where he will rub up against me even if we are in a empty room and is always in my bubble, but he also acts like he likes me somedays and others like I’m not even there. But last year before school was over after the whole drinking incident he and I had a serious conversation face to face and he told me he didn’t see me as anything but a friend. But he’s been acting extremely weird lately, and posting all this stuff on twitter like “you were made for me” and “I wanna tell you everything, how I feel what I want and what I wanna do with our lives” and he posted today “I don’t think I can wait till the end of the week to ask you” whatever that means.

Sincerely,

Maci

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Complications with a High School Sweetheart

September 9, 2013 By in Published Letters Tags: , , , 1 Comment

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

So me and my girlfriend have been together for the last two years. We recently just split up so she could go to college 6 hours away. When we first got together 2 years ago, we agrees that we would split when it was time to go to college so it was no surprise. We were absolutely in love, we were each others first, we knew exactly how to please each other sexually, we took care of each other after surgeries and sicknesses. We are souls mates to say the least and we’ve told each other that many times. The first week she was away she was very mean to me. She made new friends and she told me she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. It was only a week since we split. She parties until 2-4 am on Friday and Saturday nights. She’s not the kind to sleep around with guys but being drunk can fog her judgement. I went down there week 2 and she told me she missed cuddling with me and she kept play footsie under the table with me. Later that night we went for a walk and we made out for 10 minutes and she told me that she wants to have sex with me but we didn’t have time. The next morning I met with her and she told me she had a dream having sex with me. We ate, kissed and then I left. A few days go by and we talk on the phone and she told me the next we see each other we are having sex. Now the 3rd week she just partied harder then ever and she told me she will never party that hard again. I asked if she had sex with any guys yet and she said no; got really mad, told me its none of my business , accused me of calling her a whore and than said she didn’t have sex with anyone. What’s going on with her? What should I do? Do you think she has had sex with another person? I need to know so I can move on. Keep in mind she wants me to come down there and rent a hotel in October but she doesn’t sound as horny as she did when we kissed last weekend.

Sincerely,

Shane

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