Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,
I’m 16 years old, who would rather stay home and play games on the computer or watch TV. And, as long as I can remember, I always fell in love with a boy, but always unlucky in love. I’m very shy and very quiet around boys I like (or almost every cute boy). But, around my guy friends and girl friends, I’m sometimes goofy and when I’m in bad mood I’m quiet.
But I’ve noticed that lately, drifting somewhere in my mind, sometimes I find myself looking at cute girls passing by me on the street. I don’t know if it is jealousy because I am not skinny. I was chubby and my “friends” in elementary school kidded me about that. Then I had health problems (my hormones started going crazy) at age of 12 and gained more weight (90 kg). But I struggled and lost some of that weight (now 82 kg). (Some people still pick on me because of that, but I gained some confidence and found new friends.) I don’t wear heels, nor put a ton of makeup, nor dress up like I’m going to the parade every day.
But sometimes I start thinking about how my life would have been if I was lesbian, and get lost in my mind… Sorry if I bored you with my life story (story in parentheses), but I felt like I needed to write it. And sorry if misspelled something… And is it normal to be confused about your sexuality at this age?