So sad… What should I do?

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I am 20 years old and female.  I have never had a boyfriend.  I have kissed one guy so far.  I have been on several dates, but whether I didn’t like the guy or the guy I liked, didn’t turn up again.  I am not a person who defines myself upon having a man, but I feel very miserable and alone.  I am very social and outgoing and most people say I am beautiful.  I study in a college and have hobbies.

However, guys never call me back after a dinner or a date.  I don’t look them straightly as potential boyfriends or put pressure on them.  After a date for example they say:  “I hope to see you again” but they never show up again and stop talking to me.  I believe I am not making myself look like I am desperate, but whatever I do (show interest or not show interest) it’s all the same.

Also, when I was in junior or high school, I had a group of friends, but I’ve always been the one last called or to be invited somewhere.  Others met up sometimes without inviting me.

Now I am in college and it’s same again.  I think they are ok with me, but I am the one that they least like.  They talk with me sometimes we go out BUT they are closer with each other than being close with me.  They text each other and care about each other and I am just a loner.

Even my family said:  “Did you make a guy run away again.”  I feel so worthless and depressed.  No one likes me and wants me as a friend or girlfriend… I feel humiliated.  Sometimes, my friends would say to me:  “I can set up a guy for you.”  This is pathetic and they know I would say no.  And it’s not like they would really set me up with somebody.

What do you think I am doing wrong?  Why am I always the one to be cared for least?  I am a human being.  I need to love and to be loved.  I always keep telling myself that someday I will have good friends and a boyfriend.  But every time, I get more disappointed and believe me, I don’t really have high standards.

Thanks for reading.  Looking forward for your answers.

Sincerely,

Tina

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Complications with a High School Sweetheart

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

So me and my girlfriend have been together for the last two years. We recently just split up so she could go to college 6 hours away. When we first got together 2 years ago, we agrees that we would split when it was time to go to college so it was no surprise. We were absolutely in love, we were each others first, we knew exactly how to please each other sexually, we took care of each other after surgeries and sicknesses. We are souls mates to say the least and we’ve told each other that many times. The first week she was away she was very mean to me. She made new friends and she told me she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. It was only a week since we split. She parties until 2-4 am on Friday and Saturday nights. She’s not the kind to sleep around with guys but being drunk can fog her judgement. I went down there week 2 and she told me she missed cuddling with me and she kept play footsie under the table with me. Later that night we went for a walk and we made out for 10 minutes and she told me that she wants to have sex with me but we didn’t have time. The next morning I met with her and she told me she had a dream having sex with me. We ate, kissed and then I left. A few days go by and we talk on the phone and she told me the next we see each other we are having sex. Now the 3rd week she just partied harder then ever and she told me she will never party that hard again. I asked if she had sex with any guys yet and she said no; got really mad, told me its none of my business , accused me of calling her a whore and than said she didn’t have sex with anyone. What’s going on with her? What should I do? Do you think she has had sex with another person? I need to know so I can move on. Keep in mind she wants me to come down there and rent a hotel in October but she doesn’t sound as horny as she did when we kissed last weekend.

Sincerely,

Shane

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