So sad… What should I do?

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I am 20 years old and female.  I have never had a boyfriend.  I have kissed one guy so far.  I have been on several dates, but whether I didn’t like the guy or the guy I liked, didn’t turn up again.  I am not a person who defines myself upon having a man, but I feel very miserable and alone.  I am very social and outgoing and most people say I am beautiful.  I study in a college and have hobbies.

However, guys never call me back after a dinner or a date.  I don’t look them straightly as potential boyfriends or put pressure on them.  After a date for example they say:  “I hope to see you again” but they never show up again and stop talking to me.  I believe I am not making myself look like I am desperate, but whatever I do (show interest or not show interest) it’s all the same.

Also, when I was in junior or high school, I had a group of friends, but I’ve always been the one last called or to be invited somewhere.  Others met up sometimes without inviting me.

Now I am in college and it’s same again.  I think they are ok with me, but I am the one that they least like.  They talk with me sometimes we go out BUT they are closer with each other than being close with me.  They text each other and care about each other and I am just a loner.

Even my family said:  “Did you make a guy run away again.”  I feel so worthless and depressed.  No one likes me and wants me as a friend or girlfriend… I feel humiliated.  Sometimes, my friends would say to me:  “I can set up a guy for you.”  This is pathetic and they know I would say no.  And it’s not like they would really set me up with somebody.

What do you think I am doing wrong?  Why am I always the one to be cared for least?  I am a human being.  I need to love and to be loved.  I always keep telling myself that someday I will have good friends and a boyfriend.  But every time, I get more disappointed and believe me, I don’t really have high standards.

Thanks for reading.  Looking forward for your answers.



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What is up with my crush?

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I have been friends with this guy since 8th grade we are now juniors in HS. Last year I told him I had developed feelings for him when he has liked me in 9th grade but I didn’t feel the same way about him then until sophomore year. He started to show signs of liking me again in about January and I told him in October. We were on a field trip mid may right before school was out and he did something I didn’t approve of involving alcohol and we didn’t talk all summer. School started and we talked and both have gotten over it and have kind of started talking again. We were both at a party the other night and all he did was stare at me from across the room. I walked up to him and sat with him for a good portion of the night and his attention was only on me, and when I left he walked up to me and asked me why I had left and where I had gone. Well we haven’t really talked much since then except for the fact he came up to me and told me I had no “a*s” -_- when I was with one of my friends who came up to me and smacked me on the butt and that’s when he shouted that and people are always calling us love birds and ask us if we’re dating. He’s never had a girlfriend, and when we went out kind of on a double I can probably count the words he said on one hand, but when I’m with him and he has friends to fall back on he’s fine.

What’s up with him? Every time I look at him he doesn’t look away, and just treats me so much more different than anyone else. He’s usually very outgoing except when he’s around me and I was the first one to ask him out and he was extremely nervous the whole time. And he gets incredibly jealous when he sees me with/around other guys. And he has been starting this thing lately where he will rub up against me even if we are in a empty room and is always in my bubble, but he also acts like he likes me somedays and others like I’m not even there. But last year before school was over after the whole drinking incident he and I had a serious conversation face to face and he told me he didn’t see me as anything but a friend. But he’s been acting extremely weird lately, and posting all this stuff on twitter like “you were made for me” and “I wanna tell you everything, how I feel what I want and what I wanna do with our lives” and he posted today “I don’t think I can wait till the end of the week to ask you” whatever that means.



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