Fulfilling a Father’s Expectations

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I’ve been playing football since I could walk. Anyways, this year was my first time playing for my high school. I just turned 15 years old. I am one of the only freshman on varsity, and I am starting quarterback. My father is pushing me so much. He will stop at nothing to make sure I’m the best – whether it’s making me get up at 4 AM everyday and running or throwing extra after practice everyday. Also, he never tells me that I’m doing it right. He always tells me what I’m doing wrong. He is worse than my coach. Yesterday, I was really sick (could not stop throwing up), so I missed my game. My dad was so mad at me. Even this morning he was mad, so he made me get up and run a few miles. I’m still sick too. My dad was not always this bad after my older brother decided not to play college ball. He started pushing me. I’m last boy in my family, so I’m the last one. And I guess he just doesn’t want me to screw up, but I don’t think I can keep doing this everyday. Also, he is pushing me to the point where I’m getting sick from it. And my mom just sits there and lets this happen. She says she tried to talk to him, but he won’t budge. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.

Sincerely,

Tyler

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Insecurities from Within

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

Okay, so I’m going to tell you guys my story but I don’t know where to begin.  I’m 15 and I’m really insecure, I don’t know why, might be from the past.  Since a while ago I haven’t been comfortable anymore at school, in classrooms and hallways. I feel sad everyday, I cry at least twice a week.  Here’s why… Whenever I’m at school I feel like people are judging me, laughing at me, watching me.  I know this is not true, but I can’t shake the feeling.  So whenever I think people are laughing at me or whatever, I break.  I get sad and can’t even do my homework.  I have this problem EVERYDAY.

I’ve already asked my friends, “Why are they laughing at me?”  They tell me people aren’t laughing at me and it’s all in my head, because there’s nothing wrong with me.  They tell me I’m beautiful.  I make new friends too, so that makes me a little less insecure.  Why would people wanna be my friend if I were ugly or weird?  But everyday there’s this one person who ruins it all.  They might not even know they ruin my day, because they might not be laughing at me.

I’ll give an example.  Today, I was leaving school with a bunch of my friends and two guys were entering. For a split second, I made eye contact with one of these guys.  One second or two seconds later, the guy shouted something while he was passing me.  I hadn’t heard what he had said so I asked my friend, “What did he say?”  She told me she didn’t know but thought it was suspicious that he shouted just as we were entering.

I’ve got problems just with lunch too.  Whenever someone nearby laughs, I assume it’s about me, even if someone glances in my direction, but is just looking behind me or whatever.  I KNOW it’s not about me most of the times, but I just can’t stop the feeling.

I just wanted to know what you guys think.  My friends say I’m a little paranoid and should seek help.  I don’t want to live like this anymore, I can’t.

Thanks,

Doriana

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I think I might be lesbian?

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I’m 16 years old, who would rather stay home and play games on the computer or watch TV.  And, as long as I can remember, I always fell in love with a boy, but always unlucky in love.  I’m very shy and very quiet around boys I like (or almost every cute boy).  But, around my guy friends and girl friends, I’m sometimes goofy and when I’m in bad mood I’m quiet.

But I’ve noticed that lately, drifting somewhere in my mind, sometimes I find myself looking at cute girls passing by me on the street.  I don’t know if it is jealousy because I am not skinny.  I was chubby and my “friends” in elementary school kidded me about that.  Then I had health problems (my hormones started going crazy) at age of 12 and gained more weight (90 kg).  But I struggled and lost some of that weight (now 82 kg).  (Some people still pick on me because of that, but I gained some confidence and found new friends.)  I don’t wear heels, nor put a ton of makeup, nor dress up like I’m going to the parade every day.

But sometimes I start thinking about how my life would have been if I was lesbian, and get lost in my mind…  Sorry if I bored you with my life story (story in parentheses), but I felt like I needed to write it.  And sorry if misspelled something…  And is it normal to be confused about your sexuality at this age?

Sincerely,

Marija

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What is up with my crush?

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

I have been friends with this guy since 8th grade we are now juniors in HS. Last year I told him I had developed feelings for him when he has liked me in 9th grade but I didn’t feel the same way about him then until sophomore year. He started to show signs of liking me again in about January and I told him in October. We were on a field trip mid may right before school was out and he did something I didn’t approve of involving alcohol and we didn’t talk all summer. School started and we talked and both have gotten over it and have kind of started talking again. We were both at a party the other night and all he did was stare at me from across the room. I walked up to him and sat with him for a good portion of the night and his attention was only on me, and when I left he walked up to me and asked me why I had left and where I had gone. Well we haven’t really talked much since then except for the fact he came up to me and told me I had no “a*s” -_- when I was with one of my friends who came up to me and smacked me on the butt and that’s when he shouted that and people are always calling us love birds and ask us if we’re dating. He’s never had a girlfriend, and when we went out kind of on a double I can probably count the words he said on one hand, but when I’m with him and he has friends to fall back on he’s fine.

What’s up with him? Every time I look at him he doesn’t look away, and just treats me so much more different than anyone else. He’s usually very outgoing except when he’s around me and I was the first one to ask him out and he was extremely nervous the whole time. And he gets incredibly jealous when he sees me with/around other guys. And he has been starting this thing lately where he will rub up against me even if we are in a empty room and is always in my bubble, but he also acts like he likes me somedays and others like I’m not even there. But last year before school was over after the whole drinking incident he and I had a serious conversation face to face and he told me he didn’t see me as anything but a friend. But he’s been acting extremely weird lately, and posting all this stuff on twitter like “you were made for me” and “I wanna tell you everything, how I feel what I want and what I wanna do with our lives” and he posted today “I don’t think I can wait till the end of the week to ask you” whatever that means.

Sincerely,

Maci

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Complications with a High School Sweetheart

Dear Coming Through The Rye Staff,

So me and my girlfriend have been together for the last two years. We recently just split up so she could go to college 6 hours away. When we first got together 2 years ago, we agrees that we would split when it was time to go to college so it was no surprise. We were absolutely in love, we were each others first, we knew exactly how to please each other sexually, we took care of each other after surgeries and sicknesses. We are souls mates to say the least and we’ve told each other that many times. The first week she was away she was very mean to me. She made new friends and she told me she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. It was only a week since we split. She parties until 2-4 am on Friday and Saturday nights. She’s not the kind to sleep around with guys but being drunk can fog her judgement. I went down there week 2 and she told me she missed cuddling with me and she kept play footsie under the table with me. Later that night we went for a walk and we made out for 10 minutes and she told me that she wants to have sex with me but we didn’t have time. The next morning I met with her and she told me she had a dream having sex with me. We ate, kissed and then I left. A few days go by and we talk on the phone and she told me the next we see each other we are having sex. Now the 3rd week she just partied harder then ever and she told me she will never party that hard again. I asked if she had sex with any guys yet and she said no; got really mad, told me its none of my business , accused me of calling her a whore and than said she didn’t have sex with anyone. What’s going on with her? What should I do? Do you think she has had sex with another person? I need to know so I can move on. Keep in mind she wants me to come down there and rent a hotel in October but she doesn’t sound as horny as she did when we kissed last weekend.

Sincerely,

Shane

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